Understanding

Blogs are a curious thing. I don't know if my blog is a travel journal for others, a person journal for myself, or a showcase for other people to see what's going on inside my life. I don't even know who reads this thing besides some close family members and maybe two or three friends. But I write in it anyways, and I shall most likely continue to do so. But I think this is a post that I know I'm writing for myself more than anyone else. 


As C.S. Lewis puts it, "We do not write to be understood, but to understand". 


I would add that our motives for reading follow suit. Perhaps you're reading my blog right now because you want to understand more about me. Maybe you want to learn about the places I'm spending my time or the things that I'm doing or the people that I'm interacting with. Maybe you're just curious about what I'd decide to post in a blog. Whatever the case may be, here I am, writing, and here will I write further.




Somewhere in Italy, there's a man who awakens every day and breathes the morning air as if it were a sweet, precious gift from a treasured friend. He lives quietly and deliberately, ensuring that his actions are conducted with purpose and delicacy. He's hospitably welcomed countless souls when they knocked on the door of his life. Here, some have even found a permanent place to lay their head. But nearly just as often as he has opened up this door, he has stood on the doorstep beside it, stretching out his hand, offering a gentle goodbye as his guests depart. Admittedly, some of these goodbyes could not have come soon enough. But those were soon forgotten. All too often, his waving, outstretched hand would return and find itself resting just beneath his forehead, shielding his eyes as they began to moisten with tears. Tears tied to memories that will undoubtedly be the only token left behind from his now departed guests.


To be sure, his days have not been found wanting in regard to difficulty, adversity, and hardship. But throughout everything that life has placed in front of him, he has always learned. He is always learning. And never has he dismissed a lesson without first adjusting and mending his life accordingly. And his lessons have since culminated into a comprehensive curriculum from which countless others long to someday attain understanding. He's always had a certain wisdom about him--a genuine wisdom that isn't satisfied with simply learning lessons. He savors his knowledge but wouldn't think of flaunting it. He feels what he learns but only after he has learned to truly feel. These lessons have long ago taught him to be a man of action. When he learns of a need-of an opportunity on which to act, he acts on it. And oh, does he act! His skin is scarred, bruised, and darkened and his hands are worn and calloused from the labors of his years. His face is tired with wrinkles...noticeable only after looking past his soft, close-lipped smile that has greeted, encouraged, and inspired so many. But that's all only part of the story. If his wife had the chance, she would have told you about his eyes. She knew them better than he ever will. She would tell you that the color in his eyes was nothing less than the colors of life that he has partaken of so wholeheartedly in the eighty-two years of his existence. All of the things that he has seen in his life--all of the glory, brokeness, wonder, beauty, love, and heartache--it all stares right back at you when you look into his eyes. And if you're lucky...some of that wisdom that those things have taught him...his eyes might just inspire yours to someday see those things as well.


But tonight, those eyes have closed for one last time. Their wondrous color and inspirational gaze will find rest after fulfilling their purpose several times over. The sweet, fresh air that he breathed so graciously will now give life to other beings. His knowledge and wisdom will follow him into eternity and leave us in the temporary with a responsibility to learn his lessons on our own. For now, the only part of his old life that remains is that soft, close-lipped smile that reminds us that everything's going to be ok. It's fitting, I think, that a man who brought so much joy and happiness to others should leave this world with a smile on his face.




I'm not sure if anybody like that ever existed here...but man, I really hope so. It's late and I can't really write much more, but something I've been thinking about lately is the fact that we enter this world and exit this world with the hopes that something happened in between there that was good enough for what comes after. I think we should all take some time to savor the things that are in our life and try to truly feel them. To rid ourselves of the things that shouldn't be in our life and dismiss them. And to continue learning the things that need to become part of our life and understanding why we need them.

Vagabond

"I'm a stranger here, and I'm a stranger everywhere. I could go home, but I'm a stranger there."

Rome

Well...first I apologize that my blogging from Taiwan was an epic fail. If anybody wants to know more about how that all went, just ask me. It was a great summer and that's all I'll have to say about that for now. I'm currently studying in Rome for a semester. If the Eastern and Western worlds are polar opposites, I think that the contrasts between Rome and Taipei pretty much epitomize those differences. Just a couple weeks ago, I was in a fast-paced city with a driven work-force, ridiculous visa requirements, and bland communist architecture without any artistic or aesthetic significance. Not to mention reasonable and, dare I say it, cheap prices available for most necessities and normal products. I could go days without seeing another caucasian person. Churches were few and far between. Fashion was pretty much whatever you wanted it to be and you'd have to be wearing something pretty ridiculous for anybody to take a second glance. They spoke mandarin and even attempting to learn any of it was quite a humbling experience. The food was unlike anything I'd ever seen and, aside from the rice, was mostly fresh out of the pacific ocean.

Not in Rome.

Italian culture is much more laid back. Example: Rome basically shuts down in August so that everyone can take vacations because it is too hot. (Taiwan is likely that hot most months out of the year but with considerably more hours of work per week). Rome is full of extravagant and beautiful architecture for buildings, cathedrals, and, of course, churches, which are dispersed like Starbucks in New York City. Visa requirements were simple and easy and I'm not even sure if the customs guy even saw my passport when he stamped it. White people are everywhere because it is Europe but a pretty good portion of them are American tourists. Prices in Rome are as extortionately excessive as the fashion in Italy. The Italian language is pretty similar to Spanish and almost feels like my native tongue when comparing it to Chinese. The food is...Italian. Pizza, Pasta, Paninis, and vino.

So I'm here for three months doing a semester of humanities classes and I intend to try and make the most out of my time here and enjoy it and get involved in the community. We shall see where that leads. I'm not going to make any promises about epic or frequent blog posts during my time here but I will update it more frequently than I did in Taiwan. In the meantime, here are a couple pictures.

Taipei

Well, for those of you who don't know, I'm living in Taipei, Taiwan for the summer. By some strange series of events, I'm now working for the YMCA here and leading camps for elementary students. Camps begin...tomorrow! So we will see what happens with that. I've been getting settled into Taipei and the culture is...quite interesting. Asian culture is quite unique. The food is different in almost every way. Even more so with the language. Taiwan is basically a tropical island but, aside from the extremely hot, humid weather and frequent downpours you wouldn't know it when you're in Taipei. I would say that Taipei is a cross between a burgeoning metropolis and a bustling shack town. The country is pretty economically diverse even though it's really just a small island. In Taipei you're in this huge urban sprawl but as soon as you get out of the city, the landscape is reminiscent of a tropical, developing country with green mountains, palm trees, and isolated villages.

Now, for those of you who don't know much about Taiwan and still think that I'm in Thailand right now, let me elaborate a little bit about the country of Taiwan and its history. It is actually technically called the "Republic of China" but it is more commonly just known as Taiwan...or its Portuguese name, "Formosa", which means "Beautiful Island". Most people speak Chinese, which is a crazy hard language. Although, as you get further south of Taipei, more people speak Taiwanese, which is kind of similar to Chinese, except even harder because there are 8 different tones to worry about differentiating between, as opposed to the 4 tones in Chinese. I'm guessing that I'll probably learn a lot less Chinese this summer than I did Slovak last summer. But we shall see!

So anyways, this camp I'm working at is a summer program run by the Taiwan YMCA. If you'll recall, once upon a time, the YMCA actually stood for Youth Men's Christian Association. Well, turns out that in Taipei the YMCA is actually a Christian organization and they really require that the leaders be upstanding Christians. So the camps serve as kind of a bridge between the community and the Church - promoting Christian values and lessons at a camp where parents really just want their kids to learn English in a western setting. Of the 10 or so YMCA branches in Taipei, this is the only one that runs camps with international counselors. Consequently, it's the biggest camp that the YMCA runs in the city. I'm learning more and more about the inherent value of a white face and a native English speaking tongue. It's very interesting. I'm one of four "international leaders" that have come here for the summer. Several of the other leaders are still foreigners but they've been living in Taipei for a while. The four rookie leaders consist of myself, one Jessica Neal who happens to be my girlfriend, and two girls from Finland, Virpi and Lia. I live in an apartment with two Canadian guys that have lived in Taipei for years and the girls all have an apartment a few miles South of here.

So I'll be posting interesting stories, observations, and thoughts about the time here, as well as letting anybody reading this know how they can pray for me if they would like to do that. As for now, some prayer for the camps to start well and for my Chinese language abilities would be great. And pray that we all stay healthy! The food really is very very different so sometimes it's a bit more than our stomachs can take. Any prayer for our health and learning what foods to eat would be good as well.

Please send me an e-mail or facebook message if you ever want to know anything or just want to say hi! I'll post again after camps get started.

Authenticity

:Note: this is going to be a long post.

I was thinking the other day about the good things in my life and started wondering what makes them so good. Why is it that certain music inspires me to be a better person while other music frustrates me to the point of hopelessness...why do billboards and commercials bother me while I feel encouraged to see a sign for a local family business? And why do certain people just seem to radiate a peaceful warmth deep inside of me simply by being near, while the presence of other people seems to be a cry for help?

Something that kinda addressed this was mentioned at my church a few months ago. It was a quote by Henry David Thoreau, where he writes, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."

"Quiet desperation." I like that phrase. Everybody creates a concept of "the way things should be" and we live out every day trying to lessen the difference between this perfect idea and our flawed reality. What becomes our daily routine is really our quiet, desperate attempt to find...something.

Now, the Christian answer to this question is, naturally, Jesus. But what does that even mean? Why do Christians, who have found Jesus, still struggle with these same things? ---disclaimer, I'm not disagreeing with this answer or saying that I have some alternative to Jesus....I'm saying that there's some things we need to clear up (perhaps with the help of Jesus) to address some of these issues inside of us.

Before I get too into this, I want to discuss postmodernism for a bit. I don't really like to preach about philosophy but I promise this is relevant. Whether or not we admit to it, I think we all have been influenced by postmodern thought and it affects our perspectives on things even when we don't realize it. To be honest, I don't even know what postmodernism is, and i'm pretty sure nobody else does either. But in the spirit of postmodernism, it's going to be exactly what I want it to be right now (ha ha). Anyways, the other day, I ended up reading a bit from a fellow named Umberto Eco, who is some philosopher that I wasn't too impressed with, but I did like this quote:

"The postmodern reply to the modern consists of recognizing that the past, since it cannot really be destroyed, because its destruction leads to silence, must be revisited: but with irony, not innocently. I think of the postmodern attitude as that of a man who loves a very cultivated woman and knows he cannot say to her, “I love you madly,” because he knows that she knows (and that she knows that he knows) that these words have already been written by Barbara Cartland. Still, there is a solution. He can say, 'As Barbara Cartland would put it, I love you madly'."

I've decided that something we crave today can be summed up in one word: authenticity. We don't want to use other people's ideas. We want to make our own. We don't want complex, empty and fleeting pursuits. Sometimes, all we want is some traditional simplicity...a swift return to authenticity.

Consider a songwriter. He begins with something...a melody, perhaps a few words, and seeks to construct an entire song around this. A skilled songwriter will closely follow this melody and skillfully weave words and chords together to create a vivid picture in a listener's mind about the subject of the song; even as it applies to each individual listener. But an elementary songwriter will stumble across words and cliches. He will complicate the song's melodies until they are too difficult to provide the listener with any sort of aesthetically pleasing experience. No, it is not until he returns to that first melody, the original motivation and inspiration of the song, that he will be able create the work that he helplessly searched for. He is, to be sure, overwhelmed by the freedom of music. The freedom that he so desperately loves is the same freedom that prevents him from being able to create the music itself. It prevents him from finding his own authenticity in songwriting.

Now, consider our postmodern generation. Our music is life. And our freedom is having the same detrimental effects as it has on our poor songwriters. It is frustrating us with our bad decisions. It is diverting us from the things that we really want. And it is overwhelming us with responsibility -- unfortunately, unwanted responsibility. Freedom is something that we have shamelessly embraced and will continue to embrace until we no longer have the power to do so. As a certain skilled songwriter named Ray Lamontagne put it,

"Freedom can be an empty cup from which everybody wanna drink".

Now let's think about this. Freedom...such a lovely word! Here I am in America..the land of the free! That flag still stands for...freedom! and they can't take that away...

Now freedom is a good thing. But, that is not all that is. Freedom is terrifying! It is the biggest delegator of responsibility that there is. It allows us to make any decision we choose...but it also makes us accountable for the consequences. Thus begins the problem of our modern age. We unabashedly will stand up for rampant, unrestrained freedom. But at the same time, we will run away from the consequences. We live our lives and get so distracted with the temptations of fleeing passions and hollow pursuits that we forget the things that really matter. We have the freedom to make so many choices that we look right past the important things in life. This is our quiet desperation. Our freedom to make any choice...but our inability to make the right choices.

So now, we have a generation of people fed up with the way things are. Perhaps they don't want blind freedom. Perhaps, they just want originality, simplicity, and, my favorite, authenticity. We just want things to be the way they should be. We don't want there to be injustice in the world. We don't want poverty. We don't want corruption. We don't want inequality. We don't want to be judged. We don't even want to judge. We just want...authenticity.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible, I think I've quoted it here before, is Galatians 5:13:

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love"

See, I told you freedom was a good thing. Despite its implications (Or should I say, especially with its implications). But there is another scripture verse that I think we must add...and that's found in 1 Corinthians 7:

For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

We have freedom. But we do not have rampant, blind freedom. God knew that we couldn't handle that. Instead, he provided us with the only true freedom there is in making us slaves to Christ. This one, authentic freedom is a freedom that drives us toward the way things really should be. We begin to strive for what's important instead of swaying toward what's convenient. We seek to end things like poverty, corruption, injustice, discrimination, selfishness. Here, and only here, with this authentic freedom in our slavery to Christ will we be able to overcome the quiet desperation that most men take to their graves.

Back Home - Final Post for the Slovakia Edition....

And when they come there, they will remove from it all its detestable things and all its abominations. And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

Ezekiel 11:18-20

I've never been particularly good at articulating what's going on in my mind or evolving thoughts into words, but I'm going to try to paint a literary picture of my summer in Slovakia, what happened, and what I learned. Before I get too far into this, I want to say d'akujeme vel'mi pekne to everybody back in Trnava for the hospitality, witness, and encouragement that you guys provided me. You are all in my thoughts and prayers every day. And I miss you all like crazy!

Alright. So a question I got a lot before I left for this trip (and maybe even more once I got there) was, "Why Slovakia"? Probably I've never given the same answer twice because, quite honestly, I didn't really know why. I didn't know anything about the country, nothing about the language, and I didn't know a single person in the country. However, now that I've come back and had a chance to reflect on the experience, I think the answer is quite simple...It was God's will. I think that this is the first time in my life that God has given me such abundant assurance that I was where He wanted me to be. And I'm sure that this feeling of assurance of God's will is something that I will continue to strive for for the rest of my life.

One of my favorite things about my time in Slovakia, aside from all of the incredible people I met, was the dynamic of the team's ministry. It was so encouraging for me to be part of a team so set on keeping God first in all the aspects of their work there. From the "prayer walks" through Trnava or Spacince to the "Family Lunches" to the abundant number of meetings, it was all for God's glory and those have really been eye-opening experiences for me.

Another thing that impacted me (and countless other people in Trnava) was the power of prayer. I know that I had a lot of prayer support back in America, and...wow. Probably this trip would not have been nearly as successful if it wasn't for the shower of prayers that kept us soaked in God's providence. He graciously and generously answered your prayers despite several setbacks that could have really hindered our efforts. God blessed us with 3 successful English Camps where either the Gospel was presented or relationships were formed so that there will be more opportunities to present the Gospel.

So I want to finish by saying that I feel a little strange posting a blog about myself and my experience in another country. That's not the point at all. If you remember anything from this blog or my first experience in Slovakia, remember this. God has a plan and we are the instruments he uses to carry out that plan here on earth. Each of us was created for the sole purpose of glorifying God, and every person carries out this purpose in a different way. This summer, God used his instruments in Trnava, Slovakia to bring glory to himself in heaven and bring his kingdom here on earth. Now I pray that God would have us all realize how we are to be His instruments wherever we are now in whatever we are doing so that we can work towards that same goal. Amen.

The Home Stretch.

Well, the Jr. High Camp, Extreme Week, went really well. When I first came here, we were a little worried because nobody had signed up for the Junior High camp. And this didn't change for basically the whole month of June. So we prayed for 20 kids to sign up. Sure enough, we had about 20+ kids every day last week. God has really answered a lot of prayers over here in more ways than I can explain and it has been such a blessing. This last week is going...well. Last week my job was to help with the sports during camp and, despite a few small cuts and bruises, it all worked out great. I am hesitant to post anything right now because I don't have enough time to write about all the things that are happening/have happened in these past few weeks but it has really just been an incredible ride over here. Life-changing, if I may be so bold. But anyways, this week has been interesting. It's the elementary camp, so it's really fun to hang out with the little kids. My job is to help out with the music this week so I spend my mornings singing and dancing with 8 year olds. And it is awesome. After camp is over, around lunch time, I usually have the rest of the day to just hang out with the people here. I've gotten to know some of the staff kids at the building really well. They are mostly my age or a little bit older and they all have really amazing testimonies. It is going to be very difficult to leave them all in a few days. And that is a pretty big understatement but I'm trying not to think about it ha. Well, time to go again. I will probably not be able to write again until I get home but hopefully I'll have time for one more post before I leave.

God Bless,
Caleb